Thoughts...in the key of me.

Well, it's been a while...life has been crazy lately, mostly because of my recent plunge into the two-job lifestyle. I'm a nanny for my four year old cousin during the day and I'm waiting tables at Bonefish Grill at night. There have been days where I've fought the responsibilities tooth and nail, and there have been other days of tranquil tolerance...there are even a few days where I love how my life's going. Those days really shimmer.

I was out shopping with Kamron in tow last week at the new mall in town. We stopped by the fountain in the courtyard so Kamron could toss in a penny...I figured it was the least I could do after dragging him around for a couple of hours. I took out a penny and told him to make a wish before he threw it in, and at that moment life started recording one of those movie moments that I'll always have at the ready to play back in my mind. He paused for a moment with the penny still in his hand, looked up at me with those gorgeously adorable eyes of his, and simply said "I wish for wings." I had nothing to say in response to such a beautifully simple statement. We stood there listening to the fountain for a minute after he tossed his penny in. End scene.

Kamron's wish has stood out in my mind since then. I've been reading through Donald Miller's book Searching For God Knows What, and he discusses different aspects of the fall in a couple of chapters. He points out how man really was created to be alone and find significance in no one else but God (which I knew already) but he brings up a very interesting point: Adam was instructed to name the plants and animals long before the text mentions God wanting to give Adam the gift of a companion. Now, I guess this is the fault of countless feltboard Sunday School lessons about Adam naming the animals in a nice, neat line...but I've always assumed it was a simple operation. It couldn't have been! It would have taken years and years for Adam to get around to all the plants and animals, find them, and name them. This means that it was just Adam and God for many many years, until God extended His love and grace enough to give Adam the gift of Eve. Miller then points out that one of the consequences of the fall is that we, as humans, will never be able to find total satisfaction in God like we're supposed to. We'll always try looking somewhere else. Although this is a pretty depressing fact, it's also somewhat of an encouragement. We don't have to beat ourselves up so badly over trying to find meaning in life other than through God. It's our nature...it's going to happen. This doesn't give us an excuse to ignore trying to find satisfaction through God, though.

All of that brings me to this point: if Kamron can start wishing for wings at age 4, then maybe it's totally normal and okay that I'm wishing for wings more than anything else in life right now. If Kamron feels the need for some bigger force to take him on an adventure, then maybe it's okay that I'm wishing for the same thing.